Big Mama- How Do You Do it?!

2009-12-30T04:40:00.000-08:00

The single most beautiful thing I love about the New Year is my new calendar. It is the most refreshing thing about the beginning of the year for me. I spend lots of time in December searching for the right calendar each year. In 2008, I was given a gift of the Gustav Klimt calendar. I will never forget, it gave me so much inspiration. Last year, I bought the Self-Realization Yogananda calendar which was written in Spanish. Didn’t matter that I didn’t speak or read Spanish. It was the photos I needed. Last spring, a colleague saw that he had the same calendar and offered me his calendar in English, so I could read the quotes, which for him most important.
This year, I went for a more functional calendar. It was all about the inspiration last year and the year before that. This year is more about the plan. It’s about the “sticking” to the plan, or at least having one to stick to. Discipline, obedience, and preparedness: that’s what I’m going for.
Already on my calendar, I have a website launch party, yoga and exercise plan, children’s activities, writing times, and recording schedules. But all that doesn’t matter if I don’t stick to it.

I created my binder for my new musical project. It is full of organization, but the contents are bare. Mostly because I have lyrics in three different places, instrumentals and notes here and there. As I fill its pages, I will use this blog to update you on the progress.
Well, I have a lot planned this year. We know how plans go. They sometimes have a way of working you, but I will do my best to not make a liar out of my new calendar.

2009-12-23T07:31:00.000-08:00

Lessons I learned today from being so “BUSY”.

The little things I say to my children are good for my ears as well.

Lesson #1 Timing. “Can we plant the seeds?” Trinity asked after eating her orange. “No, it’s not planting season,” I say with authority. I listened to myself this time. What season is it for you Tami? Figure this out.
Lesson #2 Delegating. “Mommy, can you pull my pant leg down?” Ok, I pulled one down and said, “Why don’t you get your brother to do the other one?” She did and Daniel, willingly, was very successful at this.
Lesson #3 Sit. Eat. Chew. Those were the directions I gave my children this morning for breakfast. Then I sat down, I ate and enjoyed my bowl of cereal. Before I said this aloud, I was putting the dishes away, bagging a gift and reading O. One thing at a time, I told them and told myself. This was the biggest lesson for me today.

These are not easy tasks for most of us who are so used to being busy. But we surely have enough to keep us busy with our creative minds going non-stop. Every now and then, listen to yourself as you give directions to others.

2009-12-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year I read this book: Put Your Dreams First- Handle Your [Entertainment] Business by Thembisa Mshaka

My Notes after reading Handle Your Business:
Reading this book woke me up. I was literally drained from traveling to take my children down south to visit grandys, and I also took them to give me a moment to handle some business (work life). Reading the book was the very thing that I needed at the moment. What was encouraging was that I knew about these women. So to hear their story a little closer gave me insight and hope as I journey through the music industry. Khamilah Forbes, Abby Dobson, Fiona Bloom, and even the women Lenora who has had Landmark Education are all women I have some a distant connection with. That was very encouraging. It also made me see the music world as a much smaller entity and made me feel like my dreams are attainable. Well for the record I never thought they weren’t attainable because I am living my dream. This is one stage. The book gives me guidance and skin for the next stage. It was also a wakeup call to get my entertainment business {dreams} in order. 
Thanks Thembisa (and Fiona for putting the bug in my ear)

2009-12-16T21:14:00.000-08:00

No nod. BUT I am putting forth a tireless effort and it shall pay off.

I will write a song about it.
Stay tuned.

2009-12-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

I should have never signed up to be the chairperson. Three kids- barely wiping their own behinds. Don't do it to yourself is what I told myself early in the year. Now I am failing miserably at this job. Well, maybe not miserably. But I am winning at somethings!
Listen out for that grammy nom tomorrow night.
Big Mama- How Do You Do it?!
I don't.

2009-09-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

Motherly Advice- OH NO!

This past weekend I was at a baby shower. I like baby showers, all the ooos and aaahs, and cutsie wootsie little things we do in celebration of the baby. I won’t go into too much detail about what it took to get there: washing and combing through my two daughter’s hair, making sure it was presentable for a Sunday afternoon; since we didn’t go to church, I wanted to make sure we read the bible, prayed and sang one hymn together (I am quite old school and was raised southern Baptist- some things I just have to be sure my children experience.) Well, I thought I’d take the metro so I could read (I’m a mom, ok) Well, I am a driver, been driving long country miles since 15 and 8 months. Needless to say, I got lost walking. Never in a car, I get upset when I’m lost. I am comfortable there; secure, able to whip a u-turn in a heartbeat. So walking with 3 inch hills in an unknown area is not my usual “get lost” area. I had to literally calm myself down before walking into the party. My upset comes when I least expect it at times. I blame it on hormones. Anyway, I was fine, the shower was beautiful and everyone was completely smiles. Happy occasion.
Then the dreadful question was asked, “Ok, can someone give (mother to be) some advice about motherhood.” Folks scanned the room, it seemed and their eyes landed on me, mother of three. The mother-to-be yells, “No negative stuff.” OH shit. I just stood there. Eyes fixed on me. I uttered, “Uh… Uh….Um… let me think. She said no negative stuff. Hmm. Um…” Some days you can’t give advice on certain topics. I thought about all the beauteous things I had been through experiencing this mother-thing so far. I thought about how perfect I felt being pregnant and dumb after trying to breastfeed when everyone swore the baby was hungry. I thought about the commercial that sent me crying every time I heard it because it reminded me of how much I loved my child and I wanted to give him everything. I thought about how I felt like super mom one day after simply washing my ass, getting everyone ready for the day, eating my breakfast, and going to work. Then realizing I forgot to fix a lunch and my child may be eating a cheese sandwich from the cafeteria. Oh no! Don’t ask me, I was depressed for a year after my third child. Don’t ask me, I had a melt down at the very moment my one year old was having one. My son used to spit and fall out in the middle of the floor and I didn’t know what to do. Don’t ask me, one day I cooked oatmeal for dinner because I was too tired to fix a decent dinner. Should I let her know that her outlook on life may change after each child? Should I shout out, Mothering does not come natural to everyone! No matter how much you know folks (husband included) are there for you, at times, you can feel very alone. Should I tell her to ALWAYS close the door while using the bathroom- it may be your only “me” time. Hell no, she’s too happy. Panicked and silent, “Uh, being a mother….” I never completed the statement.
Today, after loading up one of five loads of laundry and a wiping sticky substance off the wall, and kissing my precious darlings good night, it hit me. My motherly advice:
Experience it for yourself, love it at times and live it.

2009-05-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

I'm baaacckk!!!!! Who is listening?
Well, today I am.
Kinda missed this blog.
We have got to catch up.

2008-02-14T07:28:00.001-08:00

In love with Patrick again and again...

2008-02-13T20:05:00.000-08:00

"Why you laughing?" a friend asked me (a second time) abruptly during a phone conversation as I was driving. Did it disturb her? Is this some annoying thing I do out the blue during little pauses in our conversation. Is this a part of my hidden self? Maybe I was surprised about what was said. Maybe I thought she saying something retarded. Perhaps I thought a good idea was discovered. I laugh out loud at stuff like that because it jolts my spirit a little. I mean, dag, the thought of her asking me like that makes me laugh now- cause I think her asking me abruptly about my laughter is funny.

My cousins think of me as serious. My oldest sister and husband thinks I lack sense of humor- mainly because I don't get all the email jokes she sends or I don't think some of the adult swim cartoons he watches are funny.

I get a kick out of some things- just laugh to myself- I love it. Maybe I strike her as being a little off. I'll ask or maybe I'll laugh when she says something real serious... and wait for the question just to get another giggle in.

This is the kind of silly stuff that goes through my mind. But I think I might start paying attention to this. I mean, this is a someone who asked me to watch Norbit with her because she thought it was soooooo funny. I thought it was ok-just not my kind of humor. After I watched it again and got over the initial shock, I laughed at some of the parts.

But if Norbit was funny to her, why is she questioning me for laughing at ANYTHING!

2008-01-20T12:12:00.000-08:00

Sunday mornings are special. Thank God for this day and the newness of it.
All praises to God for all he has done.

Today at church the pastor started an old hymn that took me back to Little Gilfield Baptist Church, "Never Alone". It is so comforting to hear those hymns, it just brought me to tears.

2008-01-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

Life is....
being at home. Walking in circles as I figure where to start cleaning. Sitting in front of the TV to watch WETA with my children. Checking emails. Sending messages. Practicing a new song. Planning a lesson good enough so that the children will "get it".Waiting for a phone call back from a promoter. Waiting for that check. Getting a babysitter. Rehearsing. Laughing at my corny sisters. Challenging myself and my family to lose weight. Life is the title of my new album.

2007-10-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

I had a photo shoot today for my new album, press and promotional material. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. At least, I think thats why I couldn't sleep. Morning still came quick. As a matter of fact, since my husband had already gotten up with my 3 year old daughter Julia after she had an "ac-shident" at 3:30AM, he did not feel like getting up with our smart and loud (even early in the morning) son Daniel. It was kinda late- 7:15AM, that's what time the bus comes.
Anyway, I got up with him to get him started for school (bag lunch, folder check, breakfast, uniform, milk money, etc). I was going to take him to school even though I needed to prepare for my photo shoot.

Well, I went into my whiny one year old's room to check on her and discovered her throwing balls of defecation out of the crib. Yes. She had removed her own diaper. I yelled to Patrick (forget that my 3 year old is sleeping), I need your help!!!

"You can either take Daniel to school or take care of this."

... And so he took Daniel to school. I gathered tossed feces inside and out of the crib, under her foot, and just prayed that she had not tried to eat it. She hadn't as far as I could tell from the smell of her breath. At least it was of a tougher constistency, that makes the mess much easier to clean up. Excuse me- that's parent talk.

One good thing about this. It is time to start potty training her. Yay.

The photo shoot was great! Monique with Fresh Start Day Spa did the styling, make-up, pedicure, manicure, and body wrap....everything. She is great. I wore clothing from Rakiyt Zakari and jewerly from VSW.com and my dear cousin Mickey White did the photographs.
I felt good about everything.

NOW.....Patrick had to work at 6:30PM and had been at home all day with the kids. He didn't have time to sleep and God knows he can't do anything else, like go to the grocery store with the kids... SO after the photo shoot, I had to go to Aldi's (my new favorite grocery store- I will never shop for groceries anywhere else unless its a wholesale place). I didn't have much time, Patrick needed to get some rest before work. I went to Aldi's in full make-up. It wasn't the first time I had gone out after a photo shoot....but to the grocery store to get milk, juice, and diapers?
Umph.....

I just smiled and waved to the little kids who were pointing at me. I just breezed through the aisles with my head in the air as if this was a normal thing for me. How fun.

I rushed home to relieve Patrick, start dinner, and straighten up a little, but I was so tired I just laid down to get a ten-minute nap. It didn't go so well. Trinity ended up on the kitchen table and Julia had climbed on a chair to have a goldfish snack-attack. She shared though.

I sat them up for dinner, and rushed downstairs to send off an email to my band about set lists, gigs, and rehearsals dates and came back up to have a little dinner time with my children. As they finished their salad, potatoes, chicken and veggies, my baby Trinity (the one year old) threw up the zesty mix of juice and dinner!

I had to clean that up in the middle of tossing down my dinner, needless to say I lost my appetite. However, right now, I do have the appetite for some leftover cherry pie and ice cream. Although I am on a mission to lose 30 pounds. So cherry pie won't work for me.

I am a little irritated now because I am up and ready to work....and my kids won't sleep.
AND I still have my make-up on!

If I eat the cherry pie and ice cream- I will just run 2 extra miles tomorrow morning.....

What you think?

2007-09-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

Let me share with you what I'm doing now...
Didn't go back to T. Stone Elementary this school year, but somehow managed to stay in the Mt. Rainier, MD area working part-time (3 days a week) at Joe's Movement Emporium teaching vocal music to the after school group. Which is great because the flexibility allows me to be at home during the day and take my kids with me to work whenever I want to!

Also, I have been selected to be on the roster for the Maryland State Arts Council Arts-in-Education visiting performers and artist residency programs. I am so thrilled about this!!! I get to teach through the arts, merging my two passions- teaching and singing.

My arts residency programs includes vocal music, theater, and/or performance for 1-5th graders; however, building confidence and improving self-esteem is the underlying goal. Teaching in the public schools gave me a little advantage on how to integrate state objectives with my program objectives. Isn't that the best?! I work with the classroom teacher to set goals/objectives based on the needs of the specific students.

2007-06-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

Everything that is happening to me right now says- stay at home with your children. First of all, I am having no luck with the position that I would like to have next year. Its getting down to the worst case scenario- who wants to choose between the worst cases?

I got two dvds from my friend the other day- Click and Break-up. Both movies had the same sentiments- enjoy life, love, and family. Appreciate the little things and pay attention to all the things that really matter such as family and relationships.

I really just want to stay at home part time and work part time. It is driving me crazy because I really don't feel like I have a choice, but I do. ITs just that I will have to face everyone who says, "Are you sure you can do this?" and I don't want to struggle to live this way-pinching pennies and robbing peter to pay paul. I guess I am really asking myself this.

There is a way...my job will be there waiting for me when I am ready to go back. The world will always need good teachers. Can we afford this? I will not have to pay for daycare. The kids will drive me crazy. But they won't stay this age forever.

2007-05-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

I'm going to bed after this. . .

I want to just dive into my children's lives. I just want to enjoy them and not be tired when it is time to play. I want to teach them new things, comb their hair, take them to gymnastics, and drum class without focusing on anything but them.

I want to be that mom cheering them on for every small accomplishment. Smiling at all their new discoveries.

I want finances to be the least of my worries. I want to have all the time and energy it takes to love them.

I want true balance.

2007-05-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

Thank God this blog is here. Here I am at another crossroads. I don't know if it has ever happened to you but after having children at times your brain just goes to mesh. I've never been a big talker. However, I use to have no problem getting my piont across. I will admit I usually like to write things out before I just get up and speak. However, this past year I have just been the worst at articulating and its driving me crazy. Yes, I do care what others think, that's why there is a need to express myself fully so that one may understand, however this has been a challenge this past year after baby # 3.

Have the children taken my brain? I feel like I just can't get it together. Multi-tasking. Its messing me up. Too much to eat on my plate. Overload.

Here it is 3:30AM and I can't sleep cause I am thinking about how it is that I can show you what I mean, I can sing it, but I can't speak it.

I never feel like going into details about anything because I feel like its useless. Who really cares? Me. No one else.

Anyway, for all those who say "huh?" to this. I don't care. ITS A BLOG.
I can say whatever and it doesn't have to make sense.
This is what I'm talking about. Its ok here but not everywhere.
My interview today was a blog. My toast to my cousins wedding was a blog.
No more blogs unless it is a blog.
Thank you.

2006-11-14T20:19:00.000-08:00

Well I'm not sure if I insulted a friend or not. But I blurted out today that I don't understand how people who have no children, no full-time job and no money plus a pile of other responsibilities claim they can't cope. I love my life, and as stressed as I get, if I could get a personal assistant, a personal trainer, a personal whatever, I would be satisfied.....probably.

It was from two different friends that I heard these complaints or rants about not getting it together because they've got so much on their plate. I wanted to say, "Add a couple of hungry kids, then you will really see what kind of plate you got."

BUT before having children, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut-off too. I spent a lot of time focusing on what seems now to be unimportant stuff now, like shopping and ...........damn I CAN'T REMEMBER what I did with my time before children!!! People say this and its true, I really can't remember. My memory is bad because of hormones, sleep deprivation, sensory overload, and I am already a little "spacey." Imagine now. I know some moms know what I'm talking about.

Its part of the reason........I can't remember what I was about to type. That's bad.

I always try to be understanding when my single or childless friends make this complaint because everyone deals with their "loads" differently. I am only five years into parenting :)
so its not like I'm used to it. I am still feeling my way through motherhood, marriage, and life in general. This is hard for me at times and I feel like some people don't really understand.
If I don't return your call or finish that song or send you the evite, blame dem kids!!!

Struggle is relative.

2006-11-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

People ask me HOW DO I DO IT ALL having three children, have music career, educate, be a wife.
Well, I don't.

Here are the things I neglect:
Sending a thank you note to those special people in my life who do special things for me
Sending out messages about my performances or updates
My hair and eyebrows (occasionally)
Exercise
Getting rid of that big pile of clothes in every corner in every other room
Re-organizing my home studio/office
This list would be longer but I would be neglecting yet another thing- sleep, laundry, songwriting, networking, myspacing ha.